literature

My Very Own Star

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“Have you ever fell in love?”

The question had left her lips and struck me from out of no where, taking me aback for a moment. Her voice, her demeanour, it was all so innocent and child-like, yet her words were blunt and to the point. I pondered on the question for a moment as we walked along the dirt trail before us.

“I'm... I'm not too sure. Maybe once or twice. It's hard to know when you fall into an emotion like that,” I responded, somewhat unsure of myself. She chuckled, her pale grey eyes turning to look into mine. There was an air of something unnatural about her, as if she wasn't what she seemed to be. But after all these years I'd been subjected to her abnormality, I'd simply grown accustomed to it.

“You really think so?” she chimed, leaving me intrigued as to what she meant. But I knew she'd leave me pondering in silence for a while longer, she treated almost everything like a game. I turned my attention to our surroundings as I deliberated on her words.

The weather was typical of a summer day in our small seaside village – bright sun, vibrant colours, the smell of salt water hanging in the air. My skin felt warm within the heat, but I'd lived here for long enough to build up a resistance to it... Or was it just ignorance? It didn't matter, the skies were reddening to show the end of the day and the beginning of the night. I suppose you could call this moment 'twilight'.

I couldn't place my finger on what she was searching for within my answer. Was she looking for a particular response, or was she just being difficult as usual? She always had a way of trying to pry information from me, but this time I just wasn't certain. Maybe all those other times I was just infatuated. Maybe I didn't know what it truly meant to be in love. Or maybe I was in denial about the feelings I had developed for her for so long. I wasn't sure. Emotions were always so... difficult.

“Well?” she asked, a hint of impatience in her voice. Perhaps she had picked up on my absent gaze out into the distance. I did that a lot, it was a bad habit of mine.

“Oh, um... Yeah. Sure,” I responded absent-mindedly. She scoffed at my “sure”, then followed up with a slight giggle. Sophie was a weird character, and I could never quite put my finger on what kind of person she was. One moment she was almost a child, the next she would sound like a philosopher.

We came to a cliff that overlooked the ocean, just as the sun was beginning to set. She collapsed back onto the grass, staring up at the sky. The burnt-orange clouds floated by as the sky began to shift into darkness. I followed suit and lay on my back, glancing up at the other 'ocean' as it shifted into the night. Sophie exhaled loudly.

“What if falling in love is like... The birth of a star? You get all of this heat, this passion, this power that lasts for a lifetime--” I laughed at her naivety.

“Then it dies in a destructive, dramatic explosion.” My hands opened up and pulled apart from one another as a demonstration of a star exploding, adding a sound effect of “schhhh” to drive home my point. Sophie laughed at my comment, accepting defeat on that front of her metaphor.

“Yeah, yeah, maybe so,” she said, turning her head to look at the now-emerging moon. “But don't all things naturally come to an end?” There was a hint of sadness to her tone, and this drew my attention. What was she getting on at? Was she going somewhere? A pit of dread opened up in my stomach as I contemplated the idea, but then that made me realise just how much I appreciated her company and our friendship. Deep down, I desired for more.

“What would you do if today was your last day?” her absurd question drew me away from my previous thoughts, and I sat up to look at her with confusion. Sophie shot up quickly, looking longingly at the stars as they slowly faded into view.

“What would I do...? What are you on about--” my words were cut off as her face turned to mine, the moonlight illuminating her glistening eyes. The pale light settled into her bright blonde hair and her white summer dress seemed to radiate with a faint glow; it was as if she were a star.

She spoke slowly and with hidden intention behind her words, “If the world were to end today, what would you do?” I stuttered as her hand slowly crept along the grass towards mine, her eyes glued to my own. Is this... Had she... So many thoughts racing through my mind. So much confusion. Was this the moment? What was I going to do? Did I really understand what I was feeling?

We slowly drew closer to one another, and my brain finally pulled itself together. I couldn't deny it, not anymore. I had always been cautious about these kind of feelings, but enough was enough. I reached out to touch her face, which seemed to light up with its own faint glow as she smiled. I breathed in deeply, an attempt to fight back the screaming nerves that had bundled up within me.

“This,” and with that, our lips collided. All the emotions that I had built up for all these years had finally smashed into one another and had erupted into a supernova. Hell, it was as if the big bang had occurred all over again, but only inside my chest and my head. Time and space stood still for but a moment, then the earth continued to spin as soon as we parted.

I was still trying to come to terms with the bravery that I had just performed, my arms, spine and legs shaking almost violently. She laughed and pulled away slowly, her eyes avoiding mine somewhat with embarrassment. I don't know if it was the adrenaline coursing through my body and making me see things, but I could swear that she was glowing. She was shining so bright that I could have mistaken her for one of the stars above us.

Still shaking, I turned to look at those same stars, but in all honesty they could not compare. I sighed heavily, pondering on whether or not I had actually done the right thing. Should I have not done that? Oh god, what had I done? What was I thinking? I--

I felt her head rest itself onto my shoulder, my terror alleviated almost instantly. She leant backwards, pulling me down onto the grass with her. We lay there, gazing up at the sky with her head still resting on my shoulder. For the first time in my life, I was happy. Truly happy, with a warming sensation filling every nook and cranny within my body. I can't believe she initiated this. Maybe she got fed up with waiting for me to say something? Either way, I was glad that this happened. It had been a long time coming.

“I don't want this moment to end,” I heard her say. I smiled, my hand interlocking with hers.

“Maybe it doesn't have to. Not yet, anyway,” I responded, lying there with my very own star.
I'm a soppy so-and-so sometimes.

I'll make sure a bunch of people die in my next submission to make up for this.
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